A Question to Help You Know Whether it’s “Self-Care” or “Self-Indulgence”.

Naps. Taking a break. Cutting yourself some slack. Having that extra cookie.

They’re all great, but how do you know when you’re making choices that are “self-care” and when they’re something else?

If you’re reading this blog, you KNOW that I love to talk about self-care and how important it is, but sometimes we can end up with some pretty bad habits that don’t serve us that fall under the guise of self-care….and are actually self-indulgence.

So how do we tell the difference?

The biggest difference is that healthy self-care is part of the boundaries we set for ourselves. 

If you value yourself…if you have internalized the truth that you are worthy, valuable, important, and that your needs and desires matter, your self-care choices will reflect that.

So that means, you’ll rest when you need rest. You’ll eat foods that nourish you (and that you also won’t beat yourself up for including “fun” foods). It means you’ll move your body in ways that make you feel good. It means you’ll stand up for yourself, and find ways to express yourself in the world that feel empowering and reflect what you value. It means you say yes to what lights you up, and no to things that deplete you or make you feel like less. It means zero tolerance for people who treat you abusively (and zero tolerance for abusive self talk too).

But…if our boundaries are slipping…we can fall into self-indulgence. 

It’s that whiny inner toddler in us that doesn’t want to do things that keep us truly aligned with our desires. It’s that “I’ll do it tomorrow” when we promised ourselves we’d do it today (and yesterday, and the day before…). It’s that part of ourselves that wants to stay feeling like crap, because it’s familiar and our brains are wired to stick with that familiar stuff…unless we actively shift it and set strong boundaries for ourselves.

I could go on about this all day, but here’s one simple thing you can do to check in with yourself about whether it’s self-care or self-indulgence:

Ask yourself, does this choice bring me closer to what I want most?

And yes, our wily egos can argue all sorts of ways to help us justify self-indulgence, but when you ask the question, you know the true answer in your gut.

If you are loving this and want to dig in deeper, join me for Fearless Boundaries!

It’s time to say YES to everything you want.



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